i’ll pull your crooked teeth so you’ll be perfect just like me

after class today i had my semi-annual date with the dental hygienist. yikes. why i decide to submit myself to hygiene based torture during pre-finals season is unbeknownst to me. maybe i’m just a masochist…but those medieval metal torture devices? the noises are enough to make me break down into tears.

in addition to my cleaning, i planned to have a porcelain front on one of my teeth replaced. its been there since i was eight, no one in my family can remember why its even there at all, but after fifteen years, it needs some love. plus i’ve been trying to whiten my teeth recently and guess what? crest whitestrips do no good for dental prosthetics. so then i ended up looking like this.

note the subtle discoloration? let me tell you, it is a total DON’T for bold lip looks, which just so happen to be my current obsession.

turns out i can’t just get a new “front” – i need a whole new tooth (ok, a veneer, but to me, that means fake teeth). AND thanks to some sweet wave surfing in hawaii at age 8, my two front teeth are chipped to the point they’re nearly transparent so turns out i need new teeth for those too. and to top it all off, can’t just replace those three, gotta get the fourth – and if i had listened to the dentist, just go for the whole top row.

i’m currently pleased with my four temporary fake teeth and think that only the greatest streak of vanity would lead me to correct the rest of my otherwise mildly-imperfect mouth, especially at $1,800 per tooth. here’s hoping insurance covers some of that exorbitant price!

although it turns out that stila creator jeanine lobell and i share the same dentist. how’s that for a six-degrees-of-great-women-in-beauty?

but my four hours at the dentist leads me to the great existential question – cosmetic dentistry: do or don’t?


One Response to “i’ll pull your crooked teeth so you’ll be perfect just like me”

  1. Jordan Says:

    Definitely a do….why not? fake teeth are the new black!

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